Wednesday, October 30, 2013

For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to blog about opening my new Elementary DVDs

Today is my birthday. (Well, it was when I was writing this.) For my birthday, my amazing sister got me the first season of Elementary on DVD. Upon realizing this incredible, wonderful, glorious fact, I immediately understood one thing:

This must be blogged.

So here we are. A point-by-point breakdown of What Happened When I Got My Elementary DVDs.

10:56 PM (PST) – I open the package and see a thumbnail image of Lucy Liu’s face. I shriek, terrifying the cat.

10:57 PM (PST) – I hold the unopened DVD case in my hands, marveling.

11:01 PM (PST) – I call my sister (who is asleep on the East Coast) and babble my gratitude into her voicemail.

11:03 PM (PST) – I succeed, after much consternation, in removing the plastic wrap from my DVDs.

11:05 PM (PST) – I read the names of the special features off the back of the DVD box. They include “A Holmes Of Their Own,” “In Liu Of Watson,” and “Holmes Sweet Holmes.” “These people like puns,” I say to myself (and out loud).

11:06 PM (PST) – I read the synopsis on the back of the DVD box. It is, I kid you not, one of the best DVD-box synopses I’ve ever read. It sounds like it was written by someone who's actually watched the show. (It’s definitely way better than my personal favorite DVD-box synopsis, the one on Farscape: Peacekeeper Wars, which just makes up a plot for the miniseries wholesale. “I don’t have time to watch this,” I can hear the writer saying. “Oh well. No one will notice if I just put some fanfiction there instead.”)

11:11 PM (PST) – I am distracted from my mission by some stupid person wishing me happy birthday or something.

11:12 PM (PST) – I open the box. First thoughts: The DVDs themselves are just boring grey, BUT they have the episode titles printed on the discs themselves, which will make my life way easier when I inevitably get them out of order. Also, I’m reminded how much I love some of the season 1 episode titles. Particularly “A Giant Gun, Filled With Drugs.”

11:16 PM (PST) – I take out the first and last discs so that I can read the episode synopses set into the sides of the DVD case. They, like the back-of-the-box synopsis, are not bad. Also, each episode’s original air date is rather charmingly printed next to its title. I don’t know why I like that so much, but I really do.

11:18 PM (PST) – I bask in my joy. You know what other episode title I really like? “You Do It To Yourself.”

11:19 PM (PST) – I think part of why I like the title “A Giant Gun, Filled With Drugs” so much is the comma. You don’t see a lot of episode titles with commas in them.

11:22 PM (PST) – These DVDs do not seem to have audio commentary, which is sad sad sad, because 1) I love DVD audio commentary more than is generally considered sane, and 2) I’m pretty sure the Elementary writers would be enormous fun to listen to. That’s okay though, because ELEMENTARY DVDS.

11:25 PM (PST) – The cat is making weird noises. I choose to believe that she is expressing her excitement over my new DVDs.

11:27 PM (PST) – I pop the first disc into my laptop to check about the audio commentary, and I hear the CBS Home Entertainment music, which immediately makes me think of Criminal Minds, so now you know how I spent most of high school.

11:29 PM (PST) – The DVD titles sequence is both really long and pretty cool.

11:30 PM (PST) – No, no audio commentary. I SHALL PERSEVERE.

11:31 PM (PST) – Disc out.

11:33 PM (PST) – I have the day off tomorrow. THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN.

In retrospect, this seems like a kind of pointless blog entry. Whatever, I’m still posting it.

(Possibly of note: This is the first birthday my sister and I have spent 3,000 miles apart. I thought she might like to get to "see" me open my gift from her, because she is an awesome sister who gave me an awesome gift, and I love her.)